Best laid plans......

During a twitter conversation Thursday morning with a friend, I mentioned that things rarely go according to plan so I usually attempt to “go with the flow” in my day-to-day life. As with most important lessons in life, I’ve learned this very one the hard way. Having fibromyalgia (FMS) and chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS) there have been far more occasions than I care to count where I have made plans and promises to do something, and ended up laid out flat; Barely capable of dressing & making my boys pb&j’s for supper, let alone attempting to follow through on plans. Becoming adaptable, and hopefully teaching my children the need to be adaptable, has become something of an art form for me, this past Thursday being another example.

Weather in our area has been less than stellar this spring, with it snowing up to the last weekend in May, many plans have had to either be set aside or permanently squashed. The school track & field day was originally May 28th, then postponed until June r3rd due to said snow, only to wake that morning to dull grey skies, temperatures barely moving into the double digits in Celsius and a light drizzle. Lovely.

They did go ahead with the track meet but as the rain turned to a steady downpour and temperatures dropped I realised that I could not be there in the afternoon to watch as I had assured my children I would. Standing outside in cold, very wet, weather would have left me incapable of doing much for the remainder of the weekend, leaving any further plans I may have in the dust so to speak. I feel terrible, I always do, even though I know I have to make these choices. Sometimes it’s worth the pain and sometimes, quite frankly, it’s just not. I tried to make it up to them, we got takeout from town, picked up the newly released “Alice in Wonderland” blu-ray, some movie junk food and had a nice family movie night. Maybe this weekend, weather permitting, we’ll work our way to the city geocaching and/or a trip to the zoo. It won’t bring back the memories of their last track meet with his school, but it’ll help, hopefully, ease their frustrations with Mum’s limitations.

Aspects of adaptability in the face of FMS:

· Rarely make promises beyond promising to do your best to be there or complete a task.

· Deadlines best be set, at minimum, to double the amount of time it takes others to complete the same project. Then add extra time on top of that.

· Lower your standards. I don’t mean to substandard levels, but perfection is rare at the best of times… for us, expecting such is counter-productive (I think many of us are often perfectionists, so this is easier said than done).

· Go easy on yourself. We may want to be like “normal” people, with “normal” energy levels, but we’re not “normal”… therefore….

· Just do your best!

No matter how much I plan, or decide I want to do, in the next day, next week, next month, or even within the next year, I have to include some a bit a LOT of room for adaptability and that some plans may never come to be. Acceptance, with gumption, is crucial to not just surviving but living a life where pain is our constant companion. Don’t give in, and never give up hope!

MAWOY!!

~Shannon *hugs*

"Ordinary Miracles"

I am going to do my best to change the way I look at my life and the everyday occurrences in it. From really taking time to appreciate the special moments to letting go of all those little irritations that we can either do nothing about at that moment, or are just simply part of everyday living. I think we make life more complicated that in needs to be; at least I KNOW I do. "Stop and smell the roses" is so cliché, yet how many of us really do take time to stop and just enjoy a really great moment. And then take that moment and share it. Don't be greedy and hold it to yourself! Tell someone, even if it's your preschooler, an email to mom, or post it on your facebook status ;). You could even share with your favourite animal friend. I think dogs, cats, horses and other animals living within our family lives comprehend more than we give them credit for... but that's another blog for another day ;).

We spend so much time complaining and sweating "the small stuff". If we have a bad day - spilled coffee down the front of our shirt, forgot to charge the cell phone last night, a traffic jam made us late for work, the power is off so we can't heat up lunch and have to eat it cold, and road construction made the drive home long tonight - then we inevitably take it out on those that mean the most to us. I think we all need a “trouble tree” to hang our frustrations from that day on when we get home. When we meet up with friends how often do we share the great things that happened to us since we last spoke? Or do we bitch about the guy that just cut us off in traffic on the way over? Imagine how good you feel when you put a smile on someone’s face by a kind word or a happy story... wouldn’t it be great to strive to do that all the time?

Every day we wake up and get out of bed to get that cup of coffee... is an ordinary miracle. A closet full of clothes to change into and washer for the one that is soiled, we are so lucky to have such luxuries... just another ordinary miracle. A dead cell phone battery could be a peaceful and quiet drive to work before the stresses of the day begin... just another ordinary miracle. The vehicle we drove to work with means we have transportation and the freedom to go anywhere we want to... just another ordinary miracle. 99.9% of the time we have electricity to run our appliances, our computers, to illuminate our nights and we have food on our plate, cold or warm, the variety is endless... just another ordinary miracle. Construction work on roads, buildings, or even building hamburgers at McDonalds means people have employment, today they will not go hungry... just another ordinary miracle. The long spring rains means that the crops will be strong and healthy... just another ordinary miracle today.

I am going to do my best to stop whining about what a crappy day, week, and month it's been. I want to be the one that my friends walk away from the conversation with a smile not just on their face but in their heart. Not because I did anything extraordinary, but because I shared my ordinary miracles with them and took the time to listen to theirs. I already do my best to not to take for granted that we have a good house to live in and always have food to put on our plate; now I also want to do my best to appreciate, really and truly appreciate, all the ordinary miracles.

I was not in a very good mood when I got up this morning. Not that I was grumpy, but more melancholy at how certain areas of my life have turned out not quite as I had designed or anticipated (Note the emphasised “I”). I wasn't growly at anyone, I didn't yell at my boys, in fact I was more gentle than I normally would be in the mornings. But the beautiful sunshine couldn't do it, the blooming flowers weren't workin' it, even the happy puppy couldn't get me to put a smile on my face.

After dropping the kids at school I felt the need to go for a little drive with Sarah (Sarah McLachlan that is, her new album) and just a hint of a smile started to tug at the sides of my lips. Music, whatever is your favourite... another ordinary miracle. Once I arrived at home I set about doing my outside chores, with Sarah now happily installed on my mobile phone. Enjoying the warm sun and fresh rain washed air with my Caoimhe (puppy) at my side that hint of a smile started to grow. Then, while taking care of my horse, Dee, I decided to crawl under the fence and head out in the pasture to give pup some more walk time... This girl that has spent the past 32 years dreaming of living in the country; 32 years of praying that one day she would have her very own horse; this girl went for a walk in the pasture, with Sarah singing “Rainbow Connection” (this is not Sarah but my favourite version) in her ear, a sweet pup on one side and a beautiful black mare following right at her shoulder on the other side, no leads, no prompting. And that hint of a smile grew into one huge grin that for that moment in time, nothing could erase. “Just another ordinary miracle today...” ;). God is great!

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." ~unkown