Now, why am I here today? Oh yes, trying to get back into writing, amongst other things. I know how much my readers miss me ;) (Or miss having some nice dull material for nights when insomnia hits). If you've been following me for any resemblance of time, you probably know I'm a wee bit scatterbrained, just a bit :D, and I have issues sticking to things; the health end of it doesn't help but sometimes I confess I use it as a crutch. FMS and CFS are real, it is frustrating to live with, it can be debilitating, but I've spent so many years feeling yucky, and tired, and in pain and just plain ill that even on good days I have no idea where to start.
With the help of some very amazing and strong and supportive friends and some well deserved kicks in the rear I was ready this week, both mentally and physically, to attack some much needed projects. I set up to go ColdTurkey with the internet (getcoldturkey), I made a list, I told people I was busy this week and couldn't play my iPhone games, couldn't visit, I needed to focus. And then I got sick. First it was food poisoning, something I've rarely been afflicted with thankfully. Then it went from bad to worse, I don't want to go into what I'm ill with but suffice to say it threw a great big monkey wrench into my plans. Fatigued, wanting to sleep all day, my FMS flared up as it does when I'm afflicted with a bad virus so I was in constant pain and I started to slide into depression as my plans were once again foiled with things far beyond my control.
The fibro fog set in and I couldn't think clearly , I became very downhearted and frustrated. Not just for the lack of being able to continue with my plans, but I felt I was letting people down; letting my kids down, letting my mom down and letting my friends down. Then, I reached out to a friend, and very gently, she took me (figuratively) by the hand (or was it dragging me by the ear? lol) and helped me take control of the things I could control. Like simple meal planning to make it easier for me while I heal, making sure I got the medications I needed once some money came in, taking other steps to help me heal faster, and just focus on resting and getting better.
I am not sharing all this to vent, my dearest friend got the brunt of that and she dealt with it (me?) admirably. While there are things in our lives we cannot control, we can work around and even with them. We, and by 'we' I really mean 'I', need to remind ourselves of this often and regularly, we need to keep in mind that the speed bumps are what make us strong and that our friends are there to push us over those, so in turn, when they hit a speed bump, we can be strong enough to help them.
With the help of some very amazing and strong and supportive friends and some well deserved kicks in the rear I was ready this week, both mentally and physically, to attack some much needed projects. I set up to go ColdTurkey with the internet (getcoldturkey), I made a list, I told people I was busy this week and couldn't play my iPhone games, couldn't visit, I needed to focus. And then I got sick. First it was food poisoning, something I've rarely been afflicted with thankfully. Then it went from bad to worse, I don't want to go into what I'm ill with but suffice to say it threw a great big monkey wrench into my plans. Fatigued, wanting to sleep all day, my FMS flared up as it does when I'm afflicted with a bad virus so I was in constant pain and I started to slide into depression as my plans were once again foiled with things far beyond my control.
The fibro fog set in and I couldn't think clearly , I became very downhearted and frustrated. Not just for the lack of being able to continue with my plans, but I felt I was letting people down; letting my kids down, letting my mom down and letting my friends down. Then, I reached out to a friend, and very gently, she took me (figuratively) by the hand (or was it dragging me by the ear? lol) and helped me take control of the things I could control. Like simple meal planning to make it easier for me while I heal, making sure I got the medications I needed once some money came in, taking other steps to help me heal faster, and just focus on resting and getting better.
I am not sharing all this to vent, my dearest friend got the brunt of that and she dealt with it (me?) admirably. While there are things in our lives we cannot control, we can work around and even with them. We, and by 'we' I really mean 'I', need to remind ourselves of this often and regularly, we need to keep in mind that the speed bumps are what make us strong and that our friends are there to push us over those, so in turn, when they hit a speed bump, we can be strong enough to help them.
Love & prayers,
~Miss Shannon ** ƸӜƷ **
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